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Advice for Caregivers
As a person caring and supporting someone with breast cancer you need to remember to take time for yourself . Caregivers/friends/spouses tend to look after others and not themselves. So, it is very important to keep in touch with your own emotions and physical condition so you do not put yourself at risk for illness. Review your caregiver tasks regularly and the level of stress you are feeling. Be realistic about what you can take on and what you cannot. Ask for help from other family members or friends if you are feeling overwhelmed.
10 ways to help someone who is newly diagnosed:
- Be available as a "crying" buddy, a safe haven for those times when a good cry is needed.
- Be sensitive to signs of fatigue during your contact in person or by phone.
- Keep the news of the illness to yourself unless you know that it’s okay to spread the information.
- Wait until you’re invited to visit, whether it’s at the hospital or in the home.
- Send cards or short notes of encouragement at key points during the journey, e.g., surgery, start of chemotherapy, etc.
- Stay away if you have any kind of cold or if your children are sick.
- Ask if information is wanted before you drop off bags of books and articles.
- Offer concrete suggestions of help rather than a vague "What can I do to help?"
- Encourage the person to talk of their experiences, even if you’ve already heard them. Talking about the experience helps the healing process.
- Support the decisions made, unless your opinion is genuinely being sought. This is not the time to introduce doubt and conflict.
10 ways to help your partner or spouse:
Helping your partner through a breast cancer journey is a difficult task. Emotions are all over the map and can sometimes be hard to read. It is the simple things in life that really matter most to people. A hug, a card of encouragement, a phone call from work throughout the day, a back rub or bringing dinner home are all small things that mean so much when you are not feeling well.
There are several ways in which you can help your partner:
- Listening to their fears.
- Validating their feelings. It’s ok to be scared, angry, etc.
- Sharing special moments together.
- Helping with day to day responsibilities.
- Take the children to the park and allow your partner to rest.
- Be honest with your partner about your fears and feelings.
- Be observant - learn about and watch for side effects of drugs and symptoms of anxiety or depression. These signs may be present after your partner is diagnosed with breast cancer or throughout their treatment.
Do not forget to take some time for yourself - you want to keep in touch with your own emotions so you do not put yourself at risk for illness or an emotional meltdown.
